Today I start a three-part series of what I believe are the most important causes of failing to keep resolutions. A person may indeed make a resolution and ‘keep’ it for a certain amount of time before letting it fall by the wayside. The goal, of course, is to maintain resolutions long-term. One can and should review and revise commitments, including resolutions made, regularly. Through this process of discernment, some resolutions may be intentionally dropped. This is good; failing to keep resolutions is bad.

In my estimation, the third most important reason for failing to keep resolutions is lack of time. I have said this myself many times in my life; “I’m just too busy,” “I never have enough time,” and “I’m too exhausted to do anything by the time evening rolls around.” The common feature here is that a person has made too many commitments for the time (and energy) available.

Of course, such a situation is foreseeable. However, when many of us make resolutions, we do so in an enthusiastic state of mind. These ‘resolutions’ aren’t plans but passionate pleas. Such a declaration of, “New Me for the New Year” is fine but only as a first step. A dispassionate reckoning needs to be done in the cold of the next morning’s light.

We’ve all heard the aphorism, “a place for everything and everything in its place.” We can revise this to our current focus by saying, “a time for everything and everything in its time.”

Often our daily lives look like the image below.

The X-axis represents the hours between waking and going to bed. The colored blocks represent our myriad commitments during those hours. We can, of course, refer to them as our time commitments. And isn’t this the way most of our days look? We’re not only often fully scheduled but overscheduled.

Given this, perhaps the most helpful resolution would be simply to subtract one’s commitments, to unpack an overly scheduled life. This simple cartoon makes clear that many of us reach a time in our lives that is not sustainable. It may work and, especially during years of training in which we have limited ability to control our time, will need to work. But not forever.

So, if you wish to make a resolution that ‘takes time,’ that requires that you focus on the activity called for to fulfill that resolution to the exclusion of engaging in other activities, then you’ll have to 1) eliminate some existing activities, 2) complete those activities in less time, or 3) do more than one thing at once. I recommend the first option: eliminate, to the best of your ability, existing activities that are not strictly necessary and not fulfilling. It is useful to consider ways of completing other chore-like activities in less time, but this can only be taken so far. Doing more than one thing at the same time often simply decreases our focus, the quality of the outcome, and enjoyment of the activity itself.

Everyone has their own preferred pace of life. This is based on temperament, the biologically-based component of personality. Some people crave speed and the rush of activity, bordering on losing – but not quite – control. Others are happiest with ‘slow living,’ and others still want to design a life that includes periods of frenetic activity followed by ‘downtime,’ a time to recuperate or reflect on the previous activity.

I wrote this intending to have it be actionable. What will you choose to do? Take advantage of the marker of a new year to reconsider your commitments, double down on some, eliminate others, and add whatever is most called for.

Thanks, and send your thoughts and ideas.
Dr. Jack

Language Brief

“Time isn’t the main thing. It’s the only thing.” ― Miles Davis

“You must view with time’s swiftness in the speed of using it and, as from a torrent that rushes by and will not always flow, you must drink quickly.” ― Seneca

“Where your attention goes, your time goes” ― Idowu Koyenikan

“There is only now. And look! How rich we are in it.” ― Vanna Bonta

“Life was not to be sitting in hot amorphic leisure in my backyard idly writing or not-writing, as the spirit moved me. It was, instead, running madly, in a crowded schedule, in a squirrel cage of busy people. Working, living, dancing, dreaming, talking, kissing — singing, laughing, learning.” ― Sylvia Plath